Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
