it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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