What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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