I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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