Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize