it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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