I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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