So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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