Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
