i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
