So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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