I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
