he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
