i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
