no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
