Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize