Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I just sharted jello shots
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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