just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
