My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
