I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
A+ Viking dick
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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