i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
