I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
