So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
