She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
