plz talk dirty to me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
