I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize