Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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