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The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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