I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
