Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
