4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
