this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Randomize
