Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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