dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my sisters under your porch take her home
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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