Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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