so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
