girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
