i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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