I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
