i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
