I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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