At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
