Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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