I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
