Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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