what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
