he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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