Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
