When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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