My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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