No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
