My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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