Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
