Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize