Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
