I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
