We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
