Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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