i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
