these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
