Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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