So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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